


Please

by Lalislow



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Established Relationship, I'm Sorry, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lack of Communication, M/M, Self-Harm, Sexual Assault, This is kinda really sad, if you couldn't tell im a sad person, song: break my heart again, there's zero fluff, they are basically always on the verge of tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-04-03 17:16:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14000826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lalislow/pseuds/Lalislow
Summary: Song: break my heart againBy- FinneasLance thinks Keith is mad at him but Keith is going through some heavy internal battles and is running. Will lance be able to catch Keith or is it already to late?5+15 times Keith is crying and lance is also crying but for different reasons. And 1 time were lance and Keith are crying together for a good reason. (Kinda)





	1. Cry if you need to

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing in a while and it's always been a way for me to free myself. I'm not doing well right now but I hope this turns out nice. 
> 
> Point of view switches 2x and it's happening at the same time each chapter. Each color Is for that persons point of view. lance(blue) to Keith (red). 
> 
> song: BREAK MY HEART   
> by: Finneas
> 
> (Trigger Warning: sexual assault. Keith is kinda molested almost raped so when Keith starts to talk about his favorite parents (Liza and Carlos) or the bold lines. skip to when he throws up/the end. Might as well just go to the next chapter)
> 
> ENJOYYY!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time writing in a while and it's always been a way for me to free myself. I'm not doing well right now but I hope this turns out nice. 
> 
> Point of view switches 2x and it's happening at the same time each chapter. Each color Is for that persons point of view. lance(blue) to Keith (red). 
> 
> song: BREAK MY HEART  
> by: Finneas
> 
> (Trigger Warning: sexual assault. Keith is kinda molested almost raped so when Keith starts to talk about his favorite parents (Liza and Carlos) or the bold lines. skip to when he throws up/the end. Might as well just go to the next chapter)
> 
> ENJOYYY!!!!

_(BLUE)_

_"_ _Hey... you, I'm just now calling. Can I come around later on this evening? Or do you need time? Yes, of course, that's fine"_

This is lances 10th time calling, 5th time leaving a message, and 3rd time crying today. He starts to feel a lump in his throat again and wipes a stray tear from his eyes as he sets his phone down and lays on his bed. Was it something he had said? Something he did? Why was Keith not answering? Why has he running? 

"Please..." he whispers into his pillow

"talk to me"

 

  (RED)                     ️️️

He lays on his bed, tears freely falling off his cheeks and onto his pillow as he thinks of his past. His mother who ran, his father who took the easy way out. His foster homes, He remembers each of their names. His fist home with the Lintan's. They had tried to to care for him for about a month before they realized he was "to fucked up to be fixed" their words exactly. Then came the Federick's, the Clark's, the Stewart's, Turners, Coopers, Parkers, Hunters, and the Gibsons. They all threw him out for more or less the same reason. He sat up as he thought of his favorite family, Liza and Carlos Saint. And of course their son.

The one name he didn't want to remember but was engraved into his brain wether he liked it or not. His breathing picked up a bit and his stomach felt queasy. Mrs.Saint had been the best 'mother' he had. She actually cared and took care of him. Mr.Saint had Been a little weary at first but became very close with him about a week later. 6 months into living with the Saints, on February 20 exactly 9 years from today, he had been sitting on the couch while Liza and Carlos were on a cruise, when the son... Eric had his head on Keith's lap making light conversation while playing his games. Eric and Keith never fought but they weren't exactly close. Eric was a big guy on the football team and practically every other sports there was. Keith was a scrawny socially awkward 15 year old teen. Keith remembers every detail of what happened next like it was yesterday. 

 

**"Hey, so you're gay right? I mean like.." he cleared his throat "you like dick...right?" He said it so calmly like it was nothing, putting his game down and sitting a little closer to Keith than liked. "I'm not gonna tell** **_my_ ** **parents or anything if you're worried about that" he moves closer leaving no space in between and a hand on Keith's knee. Keith still being naive thought nothing of it. "So are you?"**

**"Umm.. yeah I guess" he said hesitantly "I'm gay"**

**"Cool...cool... so." He slid his hand from Keith's knee to his upper thigh almost cupping his dick. Keith tried to squirm away but he held on tighter. "What about me?"**

**"What about you?" Keith tried loosening his grip but failed. It was starting to hurt.**

**"I'm offering you sex with me dumb wit" he said now fully cupping Keith's dick. Keith jumped up trying to leave the room but Eric grabbed him by the arm pushing him down grabbing his face and forcefully shoving his tongue down Keith's throat before Keith could say a word. Keith now laying on the couch with Eric above him pinning his hands over his head and his knee between Keith's legs. Keith bit Eric's lip and took the chance to breath before He was tasting blood himself when he bit his tongue from Eric's hit. In a second Eric's Tongue was in his mouth again and one of his hands sliding off Keith's  pants along with his boxers. The second Keith felt his cold hand touching him tears started rolling from his eyes and he was crying.**

**"Why are you crying? You wanted this" he said sounding angry.**

**"No I don't, I don't want this. Let me go and I won't tell Liza and Carlos. Please"**

**"You shouldn't have led me on you tease. I know you want this. Look at yourself you've practically been begging for it. I'm only giving you what you asked for" he took off his own belt bringing his dick out he held on tightly to Keith's hair almost pulling it out and shouted for Keith to suck. Keith opened his mouth and the second his dick was in his mouth Keith bit down hard.  not hard enough to leave damage, just enough for him to be able to run out the door as he heard Eric shouting. "You little bitch! Don't ever come back here again"**

 

And he never did. He ran and ran just like he's doing now to the bathroom to throw up the last bit of food he had left in him. 

"Please..." he whispered to no one in particular "stop..." he cried, Laying his head on the side of the sink hoping tonight he would be able to stop thinking, or sleep or eat or just stop altogether. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not that sad yet. I hope you liked. Please leave comments. I'm not sure if it's good enough. Leave suggestions and feel free to critique.(nicely,don't just say I suck). i know this was really short especially lances part, ill try and make the others longer.  
> next chapter will be up in the next 3 days
> 
> Instagram is: @smol_cuties
> 
> It's doesn't have much spoilers but I do put up polls, often asking for suggestions when I get writers block


	2. Try

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not making light of depression by making it seem like all Keith needs is love to be 'fixed' because that's bullshit. Not all of his problems revolves around lance and love, that's not even 1/3 of where his sadness comes from but I had to find a way to add lance and Keith interactions. so hope you enjoy.

(Blue)

Lance hadn't really slept, he was just in a state of thoughts that felt like dreams and every time he woke up he would cry himself back to sleep. He couldn't take it anymore. He had to talk to Keith.

Lance was half way to Keith's house now. (you'd think it would be hard for Keith to hide when he lived a few houses down. But it was apparently very easy.) Lance just wanted to know what he did wrong so he could fix it. Or at the very least they could go back to talking to each other. He could give Keith up if that was what he wanted. He just needed Keith to be happy. 

He knew Keith wasn't going to answer the door. He had hoped but he knew Keith wouldn't. He sat down outside of Keith's apartment door and tried talking to him, because he knew... he could feel that Keith was in there, probably angry at him. 

"Hey you, Goodmorning. I'm sure you're angry now, why else would you ignore me. Or do you need space? You can't help it if your mind has changed" He was tearing up now 

"But I want you to know that I love you. And I wanna work this out with you. I don't want us to end..." he stood up and put his forehead on the door unable to stop the tears from falling. "Especially not like this." 

Lance waited for anything, a sigh from the other side, a word, anything. But nothing came. "Please... talk to me" he waited for a while longer standing in front of his door crying and when he knew Keith wouldn't change his mind he left, tears still running and not caring much for the stares and sympathetic looks he got.

 

(Red)

Keith wants to see Lance, Keith misses Lance. But he knows he'll only hurt lance he knows he's to broken for lance. He doesn't want to hold lance back. Lance is to good for this world. His smile, his little widows peak that he loved to remind Keith he had because apparently it meant that lance would outlive him.  
He heard knocking and tried to ignore it, but it kept going and going.  
"No" he said aloud to himself. And then he heard murmuring. He dragged himself to the door and felt a huge wave of sadness and anxiety wash over him at the sound of lances voice. 

"you're angry now, why else would you ignore me." He sounded like he was on the verge of tears. Why was he sad? Was he mad?  
"Or do you need space? You can't help it if your mind has changed"  
Changed his mind about what. What was lance thinking? Keith wished he could open the door. That he could talk to lance like a normal fucking person would. Why was lance crying. 

"don't cry" he quietly whispered to himself 

"But I want you to know that I love you." Keith loved him too. "And I wanna work this out with you." Work what out? He thought. "I don't want us to end" 

Was this how they would end? Was it over now. He knew that he would have to give lance up sooner or later but he had always hoped it would be much much later than this. This is what he gets for being selfish. For claiming something that wasn't his. 

"Especially not like this" lance said fully crying now. 

He could hear it. And he could feel his tears running down his cheek. He wants to open the door. He want to be in lances arms. But he knows he shouldn't. He knows he can't. It's quiet for a while. And he's crying silently with his back to the door listening to lances sobs, hoping he would just go away. 

"Please... talk to me" Keith wishes he would just go away. End this all already. But he stayed. 

"I still love you" Keith said after a while. Part of him hoping lance had heard it and the other half of him hating himself for being so god damn selfish. He slumped back to the ground and cried freely. He tried to think happy thoughts. Think of Lance, Pidge, Hunk, Shiro, Liza... That's where the list ended. That's when there were no happy thoughts left for him to be distracted by. So the madness hit him in waves, each one stronger than the last. And he threw up again and again. Crying again and again.  
“What's the use of trying.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again i have no life so expect the next update in the next three days.


	3. I'm Fine

(Blue)

It's night, and Lance is thinking of Keith. Thinking aloud because Keith would usually be by his side listening to how his day went or planning what to do next. And Keith always seemed to love all his thoughts. So lance got into the habit of thinking aloud. 

" _Don't pretend you don't love me. You were the one for me_... still are. But You say that  _you were born to say good bye._  You are not the people that left you.I remember  _You were kissing me a few days ago, with that same cologne and those same sad eyes_. I hated those eyes because how could something so beautiful look so sad and so hurt. Like being with me, like loving me hurt you." Lance sat up from his bed getting a bit dizzy. 

" _You're so blue. Are you still breathing_? Why do you always look in pain.  _Won't you tell me if you've found that deeper meaning?_  Did you find out 'why?' You never gave me any context but I did notice. You mouth the words 'why' to yourself in the silence of the night. 'Why' what?  _Do you think I'm blind._  I see things. I saw you.  _And i know it's not the truth when you say_ ** _"I'm fine."_**

 

(Red)

In the dead of night Keith tries to better himself. Tries to fool his brain into thinking he's fine. That he's not broken, worthless, a burden, a delinquent, a waste of space and every other word he's ever been referred as. 

"I'm fine"

He whispers to himself. Over 

"I'm fine"

And over,

"I'm fine"

Again

"I'm fine"

And again. 

"I'm fine"

Until his brain believes him. Before he falls any deeper into this black whole. 

"I'm not fine"

And he cries and cries. Because he's lost. He's tired. And he's stopped trying. 


	4. Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Trigger warning: self harm. Skip Keith's entire part)

(Blue)

Lance is angry now. But only because he's tired of being sad. He's been pacing around his room all morning talking to himself again. 

_"So go ahead and break my heart again. Leave me wondering why the hell I ever let you in."_

And he getting angrier and sadder with each passing thought. 

_"You're the definition of insanity..."_

His feelings of sadness seem to over pass how angry he is. 

_"Or am I... it must be nice, to live someone who lets you hurt them twice."_

That's when something finally seems to click for him. 

"I'm making this about me. It's not. Keith is probably going through something and I've been so self absorbed thinking about what he was doing to me." And he thinks. What could Keith possibly be going through? and all of Keith's words from the past few weeks rush back to him. 

 

**_"Do you love me?"_ **

**"Of course I do, with all my heart"**

 

**_"Why?"_ **

**"Why what?"**

**"** **_Nothing_ ** **"**

 

**_"I'm tired_ ** **"**

**"but it's the afternoon and you just said you had a good nights sleep" Keith had just went to bed after that.**

 

**_"I want this to end"_ **

**"I thought this was your favorite movie." Why hadn't he realized that Keith wasn't talking about the movie.**

 

**_"I'm tired"_ **

**why are you always so tired lately. He hasn't said it. Just let Keith fall back asleep.**

 

**_"Don't leave me"_ **

**"I'm just going to the kitchen." He had said.**

 

**_"What if I hurt you?"_ **

**"You would never hurt me" at least not intentionally he thought.**

**_"What if I hurt someone else"_ **

**"umm are you planning to?" He was getting a bit worried then.**

**_"What if I hurt myself"_ **

**"What do you mean by that, Keith are you okay?"**

**_"Im kidding it's nothing. Im just... tired"_ **

 

He should've pried and gotten him to talk. why had he not noticed then. What was wrong with him. And those sad pained eyes that never seemed to go away. Why had he not noticed.  Well he noticed now and hopefully it wasn't to late. He grabbed his phone and call 911 and ran as fast as he could. Maybe he hadn't hurt himself yet. Maybe lance was wrong. Maybe. Just maybe. 

 

(Red)

Keith is laying on his bed taking deep breaths, thinking of Lance, Shiro, his father.... Eric. He takes a deep breath and counts. 

1... it's small and he doesn't feel it

2... it's deep but not deep enough

3... he drags it from his wrist to halfway up his forearm. 

 

And he feels this one. It's deep and he could se the blood dripping onto his sheets. He's never been a fan of blood. They bought bad memories, and nothing seemed to stop him from thinking about it.  He closes his eyes and let's the pain wash over him. He hears the faint sound of knocking. 

_"Lance"_ he thinks. And then everything is fuzzy, then everything is gone.  

"..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next two chapters will be very very short because there will only be one point of view. Lance's.


	5. Not just in time, But close enough

(Blue)

Lance is in front of Keith's door trying to open the door and of course it does. Because of course Keith of all people would think to leave it open so it would be less of a hassle for other people to find him, when he was... 

Lance rushed to find Keith and he was too late. Keith wasn't responding. He still tried. Lance took Keith's arm out of the water got a rag to tie around Keith's arm still hoping there was a slight chance he would be ok. Lance was crying begging Keith to wake up. The paramedics rushed in and pushed him to the side. They took Keith to the ambulance and let him ride in the passenger seat. Lances mind was in pieces. He should've known. 

"Please. Please. Please. Please" he was begging to anyone who would listen. 

"Please... let him live"

 

(Red)

.............................................................

 


	6. Thank you

(Red and Blue)

lance is laying beside Keith on the hosiptal bed. Head on his stomach holding his hands and crying. He's mad at himself. He should've been there he should've noticed. He should've helped. He should've stopped him.   
"Please" he cries. And he feels the tiniest of movement form Keith. He looks up to see keiths eyes are open. And lance sobs as he tugs keith don for a hug.   
"Lance?" Keith says with the biggest smile lance has seen coming from him in a while. Though it doesn't reach his eyes yet lance settles, for now. " I still love you" keith whispers closing his eyes and breathing in lances smell. "I never stopped... I'm sorry."  
Lance just hugs him tighter and says.  
"Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end. Sorry this took so long. I forgot this was a thing.

**Author's Note:**

> It's not that sad yet. I hope you liked. Please leave comments. I'm not sure if it's good enough. Leave suggestions and feel free to critique.(nicely,don't just say I suck)
> 
> Instagram is: @smol_cuties
> 
> It's doesn't have much spoilers but I do put up polls, often asking for suggestions when I get writers block


End file.
